What Me?

I am a pathetic procrastinating wastrel. I'm currently cleaning up my MacBook, poking through thousands of lines of articles, half finished chapters, short stories, poems, and wondering where to begin. Or do I go to the code folders? A slew of software packages, and stub projects doing all kinds of weird things that mostly involve munging text stuff or graphing things. Bits of Python, Ruby, Erlang, C floating around in a PHP soup. Or the music folder, jammed full with hundreds of weird rap fragments and electro beats.

If I could decide on one definitive thing to do, and just stick with it, then maybe things might be different. But I'm just so used to experimental flights of fancy and creative meditation leading me in unpredictable directions, that I am constantly starting new projects, constantly exploring new areas, never sticking to a single specialization.

It's been a long time since I had the pleasure of writing code in a state of flow - that pure keyboard and mind sync - the same feeling as I get from writing prose and poetry. I keep diving into the depths of computer science and design with such passion and tow, before periodically having breakdowns, coming up empty, and deciding to 'quit'. Of course, I never do.

What is missing? I think I need more effective filters.